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freshprizzle1's favorite FMLs
Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML
by butterball / 07/18/2012 at 10:41am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Work
Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML
by crazyautio / 07/16/2012 at 12:08am / United States / Work
Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML
by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 6:47pm / United States / Work
Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML
by fucking pissants / 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm / United Kingdom / Work
by Anonymous / 07/11/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Texas) / Work
by idiot / 07/09/2012 at 5:26pm / United States / Work
Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML
by a4rk / 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm / Malaysia (Sarawak) / Work
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
by cj1012 / 07/07/2012 at 11:16pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 10:13pm / United States / Work
Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only female out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML
by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by hypocrite / 07/03/2012 at 12:43pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML
by melikeyturtles / 07/03/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I moved back home after unsuccessfully trying to find work in Florida, despite living there for nine months. About 45 minutes into my 18-hour drive home, a TV station called me to offer me a job interview. I applied for that job over three months ago. FML
by deweyd8855 / 07/02/2012 at 10:22pm / United States / Work
by John / 06/30/2012 at 1:08am / United States (New York) / Work
- Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing… Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about… Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time…