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freshprizzle1's favorite FMLs
Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML
by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML
by pale-suzie / 03/19/2014 at 8:28am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work
by outthelabyrynth / 03/17/2014 at 3:41pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Work
Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML
Today, at a staff meeting, our boss sighed and asked why I'm always in the meetings instead of my co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor, not my co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML
by KBBL / 03/12/2014 at 12:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, we got our Christmas bonuses. Instead of money, the company decided to give us all lunch boxes with the company name on them. I went ahead and put my lunch in mine, then put it in the break-room refrigerator. Apparently so did all the other employees. Now I can't find mine. FML
by peevedemployee / 12/25/2013 at 1:38am / United States / Work
by pompomkiwi / 12/24/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by homerr123 / 12/23/2013 at 12:35pm / India (Maharashtra) / Work
Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML
by fuck you, boss / 12/20/2013 at 7:30pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 12/20/2013 at 9:27am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work
by unemployed and bereaved / 11/25/2013 at 12:03am / United Kingdom / Work
by collegebroke / 09/22/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Money
by what... / 09/15/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, after 8 months of being belittled and treated like trash at my job as a prep cook in a high-end kitchen, I stood up for myself to the line cooks. Not only did everyone laugh at me, I got fired for causing a scene during service and insubordination. FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 7:45am / United States (Maine) / Work
by smurftastic / 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn.… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual…