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freewinona

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freewinona

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freewinona's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9698) - you deserved it (73870)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

#19058382
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8259) - you deserved it (25008)

On 02/12/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck teh poleese (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29790) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6559) - you deserved it (19179)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25200) - you deserved it (4170)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

#19045856
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10791) - you deserved it (41230)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:36am - love - by sarah (woman) - United States

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29055) - you deserved it (2895)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

#19044019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20948) - you deserved it (2214)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by Saw (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML

#18889055
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29057) - you deserved it (2738)

On 01/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

#18871908
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28045) - you deserved it (3993)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
683 comments

I agree, your life sucks (696840) - you deserved it (55867)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1149142) - you deserved it (115519)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



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