Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

freakonaleash96

Search for a member

freakonaleash96

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 415
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About freakonaleash96 : California girl with an addiction to good music.

freakonaleash96's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 1:12pm<b>layners</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 12:45pm<b>Zombiekilla3229</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 7:44pm<b>candy29</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:36pm<b>dmattimeoj</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 10:56pm

freakonaleash96's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of freakonaleash96's badges

freakonaleash96's favorite FMLs

Today... mah mother decided to tell me about how mah twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around mah neck. When she left the room... he said... ( You won't be so looool lucky next time. ) FML

#21081555
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42646) - you deserved it (4273)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, mah ex-wife puttd mah number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found outhen I got a text from an unknown number asking mehen was the last time I ( ate a black anaconda ). mega FML

#20894419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52909) - you deserved it (5069)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Taday just like te last several days... I walked out to my car after class only to notice te Justin Beiber sticker arranged on my bumper an license plates. My dad put tem tere... an tink it's just as ilariou as te looool first time. He as four packs of sticker left. FML

#20886085
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36463) - you deserved it (2719)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by NonBelieber - United States (Alabama)

TODAY, AS IF TO PROVE THAT THERE IS NO END TO THE UNSPEAKABLE STUPIDITY OF THE HUMAN RACE, A PATIENT WAS BROUGHT INTO MAH HOSPITAL, NEEDING A CELLPHONE REMOVED FROM HIS ANUS. FML

#20872880
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49655) - you deserved it (3179)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I cummed ome to find my ousemate cowering in te lounge corner, sobbing, ugging a bag of cips wile te automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into im. Apparently e "mistakenly" putted magic musroom in is sandwic instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (2963)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

today I took mah laptop to I.T . to fix mah intarnat . Only aftar I laft did I raalisa mah mamory tachniqua for ramambaring tha stagas of mitosis (Iraqi panis man anally transmits chlamydia) was laft as a sticky nota on mah dasktop . Tha guy dafinitaly noticad . FML

#20867249
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34384) - you deserved it (10857)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Taday wile working out in te gym... I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up te eaviest dumbbell to sow off ow muc I could curl. Se ended up driving me to te ospital cuz I burst into teres after tereing up my bicep an deltoid. FML

#20831608
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23310) - you deserved it (60780)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woka up to my girlfriand grinning at ma, har hand on my junk. I grinnd back, than lookd down an saw blood smaard all ovar har hand an my junk. Aftar I startd scraaming an crying, sha laughd an said it was faka blood. Sha racordd avarything.

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70222) - you deserved it (9278)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, My Boyfriend An I Were Furniture Shopping!! They Had Miniature Versions Built Of Some Of The Desks!! He Commented How They Were "cute Fir Little Kids" To Use!! They Were 6 Inches Tall!! I Had To Explain To Him That They Were Only Models, Not Real Desks!! I'm Dating Zoolander!! FML

#20782878
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37119) - you deserved it (4728)

On 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him wat he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52153) - you deserved it (4296)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a message from mah brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead fir two years . FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76272) - you deserved it (3863)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was telling mah girlfriend about how mah parents r flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be, because ( It's on the other side of the world. ) We live in the USA, and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML

#20765797
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (6764)

On 07/05/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 second off her record swim time . When I asked her how she did it, she replied, ( Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can . ) She's just been taking her time all these yeres . fat FML

#20759731
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47796) - you deserved it (5052)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Taday I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, ( I already knew that babe. ) FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49608) - you deserved it (8754)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, being near-broke, I resortd to sopping at Walmart!! Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a uman being sovd me away from te bacon I was looking at!! I fell, bustd ma lip, ten got screamd at by anoter woman for not watcing were I was going!! FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51165) - you deserved it (11906)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: