foxhead128

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foxhead128

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 July 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2048
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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foxhead128's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/24/2012 at 5:33pm

foxhead128's FML badges

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foxhead128's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

by lyfisdyno / 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

by sillydoggy / 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm / United States / Animals

Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

by GotMyBitchBack / 09/05/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

by aherdofpigs / 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

by yourfault / 09/02/2013 at 11:10am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Intimacy

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

by crier / 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

by frustrated / 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm / Ireland (Kerry) / Intimacy

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

by Tea_baggins / 08/06/2013 at 12:01am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals