forever2life

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forever2life

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 April 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2413
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About forever2life : Hate life unless I'm talking to him...

Fave shows: MAD, Adventure Time, Regular Show

Fave music: most rap, and owl city

forever2life's page activity

Visits<b>cacheson</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 12:08pm<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:09am<b>walker9879</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:54pm<b>night_fox1233</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 11:16am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:38am<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:08am<b>Alexis0927</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 10:32pm<b>pokemonisdashit</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 11:27pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:56pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:48pm<b>___Unknown__08</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 10:36am<b>Googolman</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 2:51pm<b>kashgillingham</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:36am<b>guynamedsky</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 1:39pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 3:39am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 6:06pm<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 8:56am

forever2life's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

forever2life's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 12:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

by Tootie / 07/30/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

by anonymous / 07/28/2011 at 1:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

by oliveoyl / 07/23/2011 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

by stephiew / 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

by UhOh / 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

by John / 06/30/2011 at 4:18am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

by mavstrr1764847 / 06/27/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

by SheenaL / 06/27/2011 at 2:26am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

by patrickalamo / 06/14/2011 at 10:23am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML

by disgusteddaughter / 06/13/2011 at 4:58am / Australia / Miscellaneous