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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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fmlxt

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fmlxt
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 883
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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fmlxt's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

#17153294 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (34821) - you deserved it (2726)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Cinnamon (man) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745 (400)

I agree, your life sucks (7640) - you deserved it (52646) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (28226) - you deserved it (3098)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366 (423)

I agree, your life sucks (12542) - you deserved it (54859)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (49715) - you deserved it (9499)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (10515) - you deserved it (39964)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML

#16263681 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (25864) - you deserved it (8964)

On 05/20/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by skiittlez713 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (3778) - you deserved it (18325)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML

#16071045 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (33973) - you deserved it (3049)

On 05/06/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

#16068047 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (9554) - you deserved it (33670)

On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia

Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML

#16066360 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (11720) - you deserved it (34214)

On 05/06/2011 at 10:07am - intimacy - by eringoBRA (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML

#16057937 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (1438) - you deserved it (1564)

On 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Monika (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

#16051471 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (28195) - you deserved it (3242)

On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131 (507)

I agree, your life sucks (34368) - you deserved it (5657)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (26891) - you deserved it (5402)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -