fmlurlife

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fmlurlife

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 895
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fmlurlife's page activity

Visits<b>nana_star</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:09pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:26am<b>gennyv</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 8:35pm<b>Padreschargers7</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 12:40am<b>jt0070</b> - the 03/09/2010 at 1:59am<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/05/2009 at 4:31pm

fmlurlife's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fmlurlife's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

by SetoAyumi / 11/15/2011 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

by Bobby ray slice / 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

by NotSoAnon / 08/13/2011 at 11:31am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

by Username / 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 4:32am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my ex-boyfriend's attempt to win me back involved standing at the bottom of my apartment building with two airhorns, blasting them and shouting. And for some reason, singing "Sweet Caroline", even though that's not my name. FML

by notsomuch / 07/31/2011 at 11:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

by ManInPain / 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

by CatOwner / 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML

by ifmlftw / 06/22/2011 at 12:03am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

by Khrixas_069 / 06/18/2011 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

by Username / 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy