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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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fmlurlife

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fmlurlife
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 458
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fmlurlife's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (10676) - you deserved it (663)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

#18253335 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (10384) - you deserved it (887)

On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

#17541030 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (1604)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm - misc - by Bobby ray slice - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

#17459271 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (3039)

On 08/13/2011 at 11:31am - misc - by NotSoAnon (man) - United States

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

#17337129 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (25234) - you deserved it (1879)

On 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

#17329330 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (10425)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:32am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my ex-boyfriend's attempt to win me back involved standing at the bottom of my apartment building with two airhorns, blasting them and shouting. And for some reason, singing "Sweet Caroline", even though that's not my name. FML

#17325823 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (18977) - you deserved it (2421)

On 07/31/2011 at 11:09pm - love - by notsomuch (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549 (589)

I agree, your life sucks (15410) - you deserved it (37349)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

#17080145 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (29410) - you deserved it (3255)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm - misc - by ManInPain (man) - United States

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (1924)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML

#16791372 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (11049) - you deserved it (858)

On 06/22/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by ifmlftw - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire & Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

#16724592 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (10619) - you deserved it (36549)

On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115 (361)

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (9582)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (2584)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445 (497)

I agree, your life sucks (38827) - you deserved it (3913)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)