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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8255) - you deserved it (15155)
On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7357) - you deserved it (26533)
On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States
Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17220) - you deserved it (1391)
On 02/16/2010 at 11:35am - work - by kennarama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while I was nearing completion on a ridiculously long assignment that was due in a few hours, my drunk roommate stumbled through the living room, tripped over my Ethernet cable, and yanked my laptop to the hardwood floor, breaking it in half. He then vomited upon the halves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21917) - you deserved it (1694)
On 02/16/2010 at 7:04am - misc - by timewilltell - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got a call from the police saying they found my stolen car. Not only did I not know my car was stolen, but it was completely stripped. No tires or doors left, and the engine was taken apart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17235) - you deserved it (1172)
On 02/16/2010 at 4:37am - money - by troyrm85 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14699) - you deserved it (3598)
On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Because apparently her friends have seen me hanging out with a hot girl, giving her long hugs and making her laugh. That "hot girl" is my sister, who got back from her study abroad a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23343) - you deserved it (1471)
On 02/15/2010 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15158) - you deserved it (1623)
On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I bought a brand new huge leather recliner. After laying down and watching football for some time, I sit up and hear a loud shatter. My iPhone was crushed by the mechanics of the chair after it slipped out of my pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16450) - you deserved it (5487)
On 02/10/2010 at 2:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21446) - you deserved it (3103)
On 02/10/2010 at 12:11am - love - by black_commet08 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (3377)
On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)
Today, I was working when an older lady came up to buy a coffee. Her son cried for a cup of whipped cream to snack on. She shook her head, silently telling me to say no. I said we were out. The mother took her drink and said, "I'm sorry honey, but the mean man said you couldn't have any." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21588) - you deserved it (2212)
On 02/09/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (2255)
On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35697) - you deserved it (2105)
On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19914) - you deserved it (2499)
On 02/09/2010 at 3:19am - kids - by matchristityler (woman) - United States (Texas)
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