ASU
Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1935) - you totally deserved it (8852)
On 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm - misc - by hiii. (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you totally deserved it (11400)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by perfectmoment - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6133) - you totally deserved it (34229)
On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23770) - you totally deserved it (2882) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35132) - you totally deserved it (2091)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you totally deserved it (1423)
On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13323) - you totally deserved it (47891)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27206) - you totally deserved it (4056)
On 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by ouchh (man) - United States (California)
Today I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. It ran me off the road, I took out a fence and totaled my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded.."my tom-tom told me to turn left." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34459) - you totally deserved it (929)
On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my 5th birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4360) - you totally deserved it (38201)
On 09/06/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Ex-girlfried (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you totally deserved it (1477)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10157) - you totally deserved it (42972)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, is the day my husband was supposed to come home from a six month tour at sea. I heard the door bell ring. I sprinted to the door expecting to hold my honey bear, instead two uniformed sailors with a folded flag greeted me. I burst into tears. My husband walked up behind me. He laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (127188) - you totally deserved it (9603)
On 05/10/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
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