Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

flores_daniel

Search for a member

flores_daniel

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 346
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About flores_daniel : Well I am just your average American soldier. Just here to post stuff about me and read others shitty FML's. My day gets brighter when I see others are having a more shittier day than I. Thank you everyone.

flores_daniel's page activity

Visits<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 12:14am<b>James64138</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 3:22pm<b>CooKieMoNstEr154</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 9:29am<b>marinus</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 2:40am<b>appelflap</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 7:03pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 5:06pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 3:01pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 6:01pm

flores_daniel's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of flores_daniel's badges

flores_daniel's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41191) - you deserved it (4818)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32699) - you deserved it (5177)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39816) - you deserved it (5763)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

#20407956
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26256) - you deserved it (7775)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

#20001841
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18651) - you deserved it (5234)

On 08/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by MAC. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

#19785807
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22320) - you deserved it (2000)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31492) - you deserved it (6141)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (4217)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML

#18931669
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26783) - you deserved it (2415)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:30am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

#18865493
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24646) - you deserved it (5751)

On 01/20/2012 at 9:31pm - love - by fuckthepopo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28690) - you deserved it (3785)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (8285)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131504) - you deserved it (7340)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46245) - you deserved it (8134)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: