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About floatingdonut08 : I love Fmylife.com!!! I am a free spirited college student. My favorite activities include eating, partying, and sleeping. Unfortunately my life also consists of work and studying.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39609) - you deserved it (2545)
On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (5655)
On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43609) - you deserved it (4390)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29310) - you deserved it (5316)
On 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by fattie4life (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52033) - you deserved it (2552)
On 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by Emptyspace (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56497) - you deserved it (8434)
On 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by toomuchmetal (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23704) - you deserved it (57833)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by FattyMcFatterson (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (149036) - you deserved it (22382)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56156) - you deserved it (2537)
On 06/12/2009 at 11:05am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32864) - you deserved it (488559)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56931) - you deserved it (4615)
On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14239) - you deserved it (56004)
On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51729) - you deserved it (2434)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40108) - you deserved it (4864)
On 05/27/2009 at 2:15pm - kids - by boo (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out my parents joined the mile high club. While I was on the plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55552) - you deserved it (3182)
On 05/24/2009 at 10:17pm - intimacy - by boardman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
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