About flmw : •defend pop punk•
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Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7293) - you deserved it (20903)
On 12/08/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31693) - you deserved it (3700)
On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -
Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13833) - you deserved it (29042)
On 10/03/2010 at 1:08am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33051) - you deserved it (6594)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23550) - you deserved it (1185)
On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5698) - you deserved it (64421)
On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6406) - you deserved it (36532)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, a very good platonic friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said 'Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!' When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said 'You've made me the happiest man alive' as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20740) - you deserved it (74495)
On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (65194)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58166) - you deserved it (2104)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42600) - you deserved it (27493)
On 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, trying to make my 6 year old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15373) - you deserved it (35859)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31486) - you deserved it (71979)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59845) - you deserved it (15459)
On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72198) - you deserved it (13920)
On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 20 May 2013
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