About flmw : •defend pop punk•
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Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16457) - you deserved it (2076)
On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15855) - you deserved it (2828)
On 04/10/2012 at 6:48am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22377) - you deserved it (3394)
On 01/28/2012 at 1:27am - kids - by footscratching - United States
Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21259) - you deserved it (2003)
On 01/02/2012 at 8:18am - misc - by jku (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, with the cost of craft supplies that ended in a DIY fail, then a costume and overnight shipping, I have now spent $90 to obtain a $10 hat and vest for my daughter to play a cow in the school Christmas play. She will say "Moo" three times with 5 other cows before leaving the stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17311) - you deserved it (5230)
On 12/24/2011 at 9:38am - kids - by Broke Mama (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (3029)
On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15162) - you deserved it (7500)
On 10/06/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by xoccerplaya - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (8384)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30758) - you deserved it (2352)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (5113)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37754) - you deserved it (2164)
On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)
Today, I shat out a staple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31590) - you deserved it (11582)
On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26389) - you deserved it (3588)
On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26029) - you deserved it (4021)
On 03/25/2011 at 4:50am - misc - by radicaloser - United States (Oregon)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60032) - you deserved it (5176)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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