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flmw

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 411
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About flmw : •defend pop punk•

flmw's page activity

Visits<b>Zorori</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 9:35am<b>hunter818</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 4:51am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 6:17pm<b>decimater</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 8:24am

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flmw's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22050) - you deserved it (3048)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

#18930916
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27020) - you deserved it (3852)

On 01/28/2012 at 1:27am - kids - by footscratching - United States

Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

Today, with the cost of craft supplies that ended in a DIY fail, then a costume and overnight shipping, I have now spent $90 to obtain a $10 hat and vest for my daughter to play a cow in the school Christmas play. She will say "Moo" three times with 5 other cows before leaving the stage. FML

#18597076
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22523) - you deserved it (7012)

On 12/24/2011 at 9:38am - kids - by Broke Mama (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27921) - you deserved it (3418)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

#17918241
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19822) - you deserved it (9976)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by xoccerplaya - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32747) - you deserved it (9208)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37257) - you deserved it (3276)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

#17499822
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34408) - you deserved it (6820)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44016) - you deserved it (2963)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37466) - you deserved it (16309)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30676) - you deserved it (3947)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

#15479009
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30962) - you deserved it (5032)

On 03/25/2011 at 4:50am - misc - by radicaloser - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69622) - you deserved it (6562)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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