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fledermausi

Offline (the 01/17/2014 at 8:08pm) | Search for a member

fledermausi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 670
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fledermausi's page activity

Visits<b>Kovu</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 6:50am<b>Shroom_slayer</b> - the 07/01/2012 at 9:03pm

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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fledermausi's favorite FMLs

Today, my minivan broke down on the side of the highway. I'm out of work and can't afford a cell phone, so I resorted to standing at the back of my van holding a "HELP" sign. About an hour went by, in which time I was passed by a cop car, a firetruck, and a car that said "Roadside Assistance." FML

#12858373
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (3197)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:11pm - misc - by Forded (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML

#11954418
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33180) - you deserved it (3883)

On 07/18/2010 at 1:02am - work - by Flyboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

#11045008
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (5454)

On 06/07/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by Th3BaconNinja (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after doing a graveyard shift at work, I took the bus home. I fell asleep on the way and woke up 25 miles away from my bus stop. I took another bus heading back and couldn't stay awake. I then woke up where I started from. FML

#10707019
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28784) - you deserved it (12362)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:29am - work - by Around - United States (Florida)

Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on two really pretty girls. The first girl I missed and kissed her chin. The second girl I headbutted and gave a nosebleed. FML

#7258041
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11403) - you deserved it (38935)

On 01/10/2010 at 1:13pm - love - by Olihime (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30731) - you deserved it (6919)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my wife her anniversary card. She started to giggle then walked in our bedroom and came back with the exact same card from last year. This is the second time I've done this. FML

#6881233
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8442) - you deserved it (30722)

On 12/22/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by todayJman03 (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML

#6703564
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7329) - you deserved it (22331)

On 12/11/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two-month old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML

#6501685
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39156) - you deserved it (4687)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:14pm - kids - by Shannon (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

#6427475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7875) - you deserved it (24644)

On 11/23/2009 at 9:30pm - love - by pigglepigglepiggle (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59034) - you deserved it (3607)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

#6288438
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37548) - you deserved it (3548)

On 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm - kids - by notateen (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48435) - you deserved it (3926)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48573) - you deserved it (3759)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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