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fledermausi

Offline (the 01/17/2014 at 8:08pm) | Search for a member

fledermausi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 585
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fledermausi's page activity

Visits<b>Kovu</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 6:50am<b>Shroom_slayer</b> - the 07/01/2012 at 9:03pm

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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fledermausi's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39689) - you deserved it (4106)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

#16152690
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39541) - you deserved it (8344)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by phant776 (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML

#16081826
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35924) - you deserved it (10117)

On 05/07/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by sadman (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12767) - you deserved it (38629)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML

#15311271
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33790) - you deserved it (4146)

On 03/14/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by cleangirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with a voice card. It said "Marry me Amber?" I'm not Amber. That's his ex. FML

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

#14080015
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23303) - you deserved it (6077)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML

#13962286
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (13020)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by ryansmithho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

#13912441
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23061) - you deserved it (6489)

On 11/20/2010 at 2:07pm - kids - by Lexi - Canada

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19704) - you deserved it (7302)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19704) - you deserved it (7302)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

#13850566
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73357) - you deserved it (4103)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47199) - you deserved it (17356)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10588) - you deserved it (29773)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51328) - you deserved it (7788)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore



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