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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9933) - you deserved it (28439)
On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (3251)
On 03/14/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by cleangirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Fife)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with a voice card. It said "Marry me Amber?" I'm not Amber. That's his ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29607) - you deserved it (2259)
On 01/18/2011 at 1:16pm - love - by dubblechic - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18213) - you deserved it (4764)
On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29405) - you deserved it (9977)
On 11/24/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by ryansmithho (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17895) - you deserved it (5022)
Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14743) - you deserved it (5694)
On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14743) - you deserved it (5694)
On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63786) - you deserved it (3127)
On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40593) - you deserved it (13621)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (21194)
On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43034) - you deserved it (6027)
Today, my minivan broke down on the side of the highway. I'm out of work and can't afford a cell phone, so I resorted to standing at the back of my van holding a "HELP" sign. About an hour went by, in which time I was passed by a cop car, a firetruck, and a car that said "Roadside Assistance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26325) - you deserved it (380)
On 09/01/2010 at 7:11pm - misc - by Forded (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14057) - you deserved it (48052)
On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)
Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27523) - you deserved it (2929)
On 07/18/2010 at 1:02am - work - by Flyboy (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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