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fledermausi

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fledermausi
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  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fledermausi's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (1924)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

#17948621
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15951) - you deserved it (3035)

On 10/10/2011 at 12:13am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

#17937803
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (2299)

On 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8420) - you deserved it (24434)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

#17754164
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21252) - you deserved it (4243)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm - misc - by Frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

#17664853
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21075) - you deserved it (8334)

On 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm - love - by ddll (man) - Singapore

Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML

#17535182
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32035) - you deserved it (2270)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:25am - love - by Tinkerer - United States (Oregon)

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

#17418285
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28352) - you deserved it (3018)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:29pm - love - by MrOh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

#17413656
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20696) - you deserved it (8230)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by **(: - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17264) - you deserved it (4038)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

#16706324
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (7814)

On 06/17/2011 at 2:07am - misc - by jaybob18 - United States (New York)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48136) - you deserved it (3252)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33363) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

#16152690
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33971) - you deserved it (7650)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by phant776 (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML

#16081826
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (7865)

On 05/07/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by sadman (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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