fledermausi

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Offline (the 01/17/2014 at 8:08pm)

fledermausi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1315
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fledermausi's page activity

Visits<b>Kovu</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 6:50am<b>Shroom_slayer</b> - the 07/01/2012 at 9:03pm

fledermausi's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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fledermausi's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

by melikeyturtles / 10/10/2011 at 12:13am / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

by Frenchgirl / 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

by ddll / 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm / Singapore / Love

Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML

by Tinkerer / 08/21/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

by MrOh / 08/09/2011 at 1:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

by **(: / 08/09/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

by lostforwords / 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm / Ireland (Tipperary) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

by jaybob18 / 06/17/2011 at 2:07am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love