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fledermausi

Offline (the 01/17/2014 at 8:08pm) | Search for a member

fledermausi

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 622
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fledermausi's page activity

Visits<b>Kovu</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 6:50am<b>Shroom_slayer</b> - the 07/01/2012 at 9:03pm

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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fledermausi's favorite FMLs

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (2384)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML

#19113107
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (2666)

On 02/19/2012 at 3:55am - health - by preggo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML

#19011157
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22984) - you deserved it (1959)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26084) - you deserved it (3286) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, it's Christmas day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML

#18606973
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13350) - you deserved it (25330)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by John Nani (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17074) - you deserved it (50227)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21468) - you deserved it (5341)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML

#18523510
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (1926)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by metallicatime - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

#18502844
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28899) - you deserved it (2807)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

#18501899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (1998)

On 12/13/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML

#18402392
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (4877)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:38am - work - by ohno - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6387) - you deserved it (48280)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML

#18383706
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26000) - you deserved it (5922)

On 11/29/2011 at 7:42am - work - by robincakes94 - United States



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