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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33886) - you deserved it (1911)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20304) - you deserved it (2454) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, it's Christmas day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (21290)
On 12/25/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by John Nani (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14040) - you deserved it (44576)
On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16535) - you deserved it (4152)
On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27889) - you deserved it (4963)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23887) - you deserved it (1377)
On 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by metallicatime - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23281) - you deserved it (2063)
On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)
Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20410) - you deserved it (1419)
On 12/13/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18533) - you deserved it (3730)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:38am - work - by ohno - United States (Florida)
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4874) - you deserved it (35259)
On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States
Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20598) - you deserved it (4372)
On 11/29/2011 at 7:42am - work - by robincakes94 - United States
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16835) - you deserved it (2220)
On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out my soon to be ex-husband is going to be a father. We spent our entire marriage unsuccessfully trying for a baby. The mother of his unborn child isn't his new girlfriend, but someone else he was cheating on her with. Our divorce isn't even finalized yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (2029)
On 11/07/2011 at 3:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "FRIED" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17889) - you deserved it (1698)
On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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