About flea_of_death : This thing changes all the time. Okay, as of July 2013, here's my about me! I do enjoy My Little Pony, but I won't shove it in your face. It's just something I like! I'm going to be majoring in pre-vet medicine when I start college this fall, and I will be in the Pride of the Southland Marching Band. Look them up on Youtube, it's worth it. I don't comment often on here, but when I do, I'm normally defending ponies, making a witty comment, or saying something creepy. That's just who I am. =) Feel free to message me, though I don't respond very often due to mostly using the mobile app. Which is why if a comment seems out of place, my phone freaked out. I'm rambling right now because it's 2:30 in the morning as I type this. Have a cookie if you read this far. Have a wonderful day!
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flea_of_death's favorite FMLs
by CallmeEddie / 11/14/2013 at 11:44am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 5:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking out a customer's groceries when he offered me a $5 tip. I told him I couldn't accept, since it's against store policy, but thanked him anyway. He called me an asshole just as my boss was walking to his car, who then yelled at me for it. FML
by BagBoy / 11/13/2013 at 1:42am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 11/12/2013 at 2:12pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Alice99 / 11/12/2013 at 12:39pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML
by MyUsernameIsBest / 11/12/2013 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Money
Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML
by LetMeOut / 11/11/2013 at 1:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Thomas / 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML
by Anonymous / 11/11/2013 at 10:55am / United States / Love
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
by Anonymous / 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML
by Tao26 / 11/10/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by NiteShayd / 11/09/2013 at 11:40am / Canada / Kids
Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by probablydodgedabullet / 11/08/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
- Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up.… Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When… Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their…