Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

flea_of_death

Search for a member

flea_of_death

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 May 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 18240
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About flea_of_death : This thing changes all the time. Okay, as of July 2013, here's my about me! I do enjoy My Little Pony, but I won't shove it in your face. It's just something I like! I'm going to be majoring in pre-vet medicine when I start college this fall, and I will be in the Pride of the Southland Marching Band. Look them up on Youtube, it's worth it. I don't comment often on here, but when I do, I'm normally defending ponies, making a witty comment, or saying something creepy. That's just who I am. =) Feel free to message me, though I don't respond very often due to mostly using the mobile app. Which is why if a comment seems out of place, my phone freaked out. I'm rambling right now because it's 2:30 in the morning as I type this. Have a cookie if you read this far. Have a wonderful day!

flea_of_death's page activity

Visits<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:27pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 3:12pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 7:06am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 1:15am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 11:21pm<b>DarkMatter115</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 9:58am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 3:47pm<b>ColdRoxas</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:30pm<b>ajean97</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:05pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:36am<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:50am<b>lion2294</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:21am<b>Supersid333</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:26pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:01pm<b>txchic</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:36pm<b>lVluse</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:27am<b>MinerZ</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Crlnprz</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:09pm

Fucked!<b>lion2294</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:22am

flea_of_death's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of flea_of_death's badges

flea_of_death's favorite FMLs

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

#19212153
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (4034)

On 03/04/2012 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

#19212153
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (4034)

On 03/04/2012 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43890) - you deserved it (30039)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML

#19211416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23757) - you deserved it (5933)

On 03/03/2012 at 10:09pm - misc - by mexicandelicacy (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14059) - you deserved it (30381)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14059) - you deserved it (30381)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14059) - you deserved it (30381)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (10066)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36341) - you deserved it (5439)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36341) - you deserved it (5439)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36341) - you deserved it (5439)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36341) - you deserved it (5439)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24059) - you deserved it (3524)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24059) - you deserved it (3524)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24059) - you deserved it (3524)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: