Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

flea_of_death

Search for a member

flea_of_death

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 May 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15518
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About flea_of_death : This thing changes all the time. Okay, as of July 2013, here's my about me! I do enjoy My Little Pony, but I won't shove it in your face. It's just something I like! I'm going to be majoring in pre-vet medicine when I start college this fall, and I will be in the Pride of the Southland Marching Band. Look them up on Youtube, it's worth it. I don't comment often on here, but when I do, I'm normally defending ponies, making a witty comment, or saying something creepy. That's just who I am. =) Feel free to message me, though I don't respond very often due to mostly using the mobile app. Which is why if a comment seems out of place, my phone freaked out. I'm rambling right now because it's 2:30 in the morning as I type this. Have a cookie if you read this far. Have a wonderful day!

flea_of_death's page activity

Visits<b>ajean97</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:05pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:36am<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:50am<b>lion2294</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:21am<b>Supersid333</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:26pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:01pm<b>txchic</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:36pm<b>lVluse</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:27am<b>MinerZ</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Crlnprz</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:09pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:44pm<b>tegankeen</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:58am<b>TYRRELL</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:15pm<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:15am<b>curticus</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:59am<b>kayana153</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:48am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 2:20am

Fucked!<b>lion2294</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:22am

flea_of_death's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of flea_of_death's badges

flea_of_death's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML

#19504402
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (26165)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

#19503572
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (3513)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML

#19501671
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25155) - you deserved it (1847)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (2668)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (2668)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (2668)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML

#19472127
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8575) - you deserved it (30303)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:29am - misc - by Salvation711 - United States

Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML

#19472127
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8575) - you deserved it (30303)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:29am - misc - by Salvation711 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20535) - you deserved it (6421)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, I had to admit that my jealousy issues were becoming a problem when I almost told my boyfriend not to apply at the local McDonald's, because of the high school girls that would see him there. FML

#19454390
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6746) - you deserved it (28290)

On 04/12/2012 at 5:27am - love - by Jealousbitch - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

#19387058
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24324) - you deserved it (4584)

On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

#19387058
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24324) - you deserved it (4584)

On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML

Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML

#19380056
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37962) - you deserved it (2446)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (3135)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: