Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

flea_of_death

Search for a member

flea_of_death
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 May 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 6085
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About flea_of_death : This thing changes all the time. Okay, as of July 2013, here's my about me! I do enjoy My Little Pony, but I won't shove it in your face. It's just something I like! I'm going to be majoring in pre-vet medicine when I start college this fall, and I will be in the Pride of the Southland Marching Band. Look them up on Youtube, it's worth it. I don't comment often on here, but when I do, I'm normally defending ponies, making a witty comment, or saying something creepy. That's just who I am. =) Feel free to message me, though I don't respond very often due to mostly using the mobile app. Which is why if a comment seems out of place, my phone freaked out. I'm rambling right now because it's 2:30 in the morning as I type this. Have a cookie if you read this far. Have a wonderful day!

flea_of_death's last visitors

tigerfishMrWolfySundaynighthaterbyEyecandyWaredo_DyrgeRababcosezualWeiXinLun

flea_of_death's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of flea_of_death's badges

flea_of_death's favorite FMLs

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7257) - you deserved it (58178)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7257) - you deserved it (58178)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7257) - you deserved it (58178)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7257) - you deserved it (58178)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7257) - you deserved it (58178)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML

#19510185
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19996) - you deserved it (5565)

On 04/22/2012 at 8:09am - kids - by Mary Kathryn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (10142)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML

#19509348
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19097) - you deserved it (3732)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:24am - health - by Andrew7847 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7002) - you deserved it (59351)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

#19504672
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (3184)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by wmkaz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

#19504619
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6775) - you deserved it (27566)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)

Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML

#19504402
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6166) - you deserved it (17768)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

#19503572
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23654) - you deserved it (3323)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML

#19501671
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (1630)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: