flea_of_death

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flea_of_death

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 21752
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About flea_of_death : This thing changes all the time. Okay, as of July 2013, here's my about me! I do enjoy My Little Pony, but I won't shove it in your face. It's just something I like! I'm going to be majoring in pre-vet medicine when I start college this fall, and I will be in the Pride of the Southland Marching Band. Look them up on Youtube, it's worth it. I don't comment often on here, but when I do, I'm normally defending ponies, making a witty comment, or saying something creepy. That's just who I am. =) Feel free to message me, though I don't respond very often due to mostly using the mobile app. Which is why if a comment seems out of place, my phone freaked out. I'm rambling right now because it's 2:30 in the morning as I type this. Have a cookie if you read this far. Have a wonderful day!

flea_of_death's page activity

Visits<b>142asdfqq</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 11:11pm<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 7:16am<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:27pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 3:12pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 7:06am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 1:15am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 11:21pm<b>DarkMatter115</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 9:58am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 3:47pm<b>ColdRoxas</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:30pm<b>ajean97</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:05pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:36am<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:50am<b>lion2294</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:21am<b>Supersid333</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:26pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:01pm<b>txchic</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:36pm<b>lVluse</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:27am

Fucked!<b>lion2294</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:22am

flea_of_death's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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flea_of_death's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

by huh / 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Intimacy

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

by Norwegian / 06/02/2012 at 12:55pm / Norway / Love

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 12:46pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Love

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 11:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 11:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

by lol112 / 06/02/2012 at 8:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

by lol112 / 06/02/2012 at 8:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML

by OutOfTheCloset / 06/02/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML

by OutOfTheCloset / 06/02/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

by ironyisabitch / 06/02/2012 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

by dating a manchild / 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

by kay / 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

by Briscuit / 06/01/2012 at 5:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.