About flea_of_death : This thing changes all the time. Okay, as of July 2013, here's my about me! I do enjoy My Little Pony, but I won't shove it in your face. It's just something I like! I'm going to be majoring in pre-vet medicine when I start college this fall, and I will be in the Pride of the Southland Marching Band. Look them up on Youtube, it's worth it. I don't comment often on here, but when I do, I'm normally defending ponies, making a witty comment, or saying something creepy. That's just who I am. =) Feel free to message me, though I don't respond very often due to mostly using the mobile app. Which is why if a comment seems out of place, my phone freaked out. I'm rambling right now because it's 2:30 in the morning as I type this. Have a cookie if you read this far. Have a wonderful day!
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flea_of_death's favorite FMLs
Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML
by puking now / 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML
by religiunatic / 12/13/2013 at 12:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 4:53pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love
Today, I got back the essay I wrote about how my country's education system is fucked. At one point, I made a spelling mistake. My teacher wrote a note about it, basically calling me illiterate and telling me to pay attention in school instead of whining about it. She misspelled "school". FML
by lrn2spel, teach / 12/12/2013 at 1:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Rumors / 12/12/2013 at 6:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by ElephantLover / 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML
by Whackgourd / 12/11/2013 at 1:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML
by Lemurcat / 12/11/2013 at 11:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by pootie / 12/11/2013 at 8:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML
by a.white / 12/11/2013 at 6:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm / Bangladesh / Love
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years old. FML
by Somerandomguy64 / 12/10/2013 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Love
by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work
Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Work
by FreeChocolate / 12/09/2013 at 8:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…