About flea_of_death : Okay, editing this now that I'm on a computer and don't have to worry about autocorrect. First off, I don't care if you love me or hate me. I'll say what I want to say. Second, I'm busy with school, so if you message me and I don't respond for a while, please don't be offended! Third, I rarely comment because I hate dealing with dumb people. Anything else, feel free to message me!
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Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37244) - you deserved it (3125)
On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48707) - you deserved it (3779)
On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40485) - you deserved it (2321)
On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (8692)
On 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by pantydropper (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35526) - you deserved it (14921)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by KatiRozz1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Middlesbrough)
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43953) - you deserved it (7045)
On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32793) - you deserved it (17605)
On 04/17/2013 at 11:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42391) - you deserved it (5444)
On 04/17/2013 at 6:20am - health - by Annieisnotokay - United Kingdom
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51116) - you deserved it (4715)
On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)
Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (28648)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53176) - you deserved it (9760)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (5689)
On 04/17/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Aaronator25 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41847) - you deserved it (7834)
On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36804) - you deserved it (5863)
On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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