About flea_of_death : Okay, editing this now that I'm on a computer and don't have to worry about autocorrect. First off, I don't care if you love me or hate me. I'll say what I want to say. Second, I'm busy with school, so if you message me and I don't respond for a while, please don't be offended! Third, I rarely comment because I hate dealing with dumb people. Anything else, feel free to message me!
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Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15635) - you deserved it (3001)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18569) - you deserved it (2795)
On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (1636)
On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)
Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (4375)
On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17661) - you deserved it (5812)
On 05/24/2013 at 12:08pm - work - by anthony512 (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35359) - you deserved it (9523)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21825) - you deserved it (26109)
On 05/24/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by obnum - United States (New York)
Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12991) - you deserved it (23940)
On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)
Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7522) - you deserved it (66625)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by faitoh - United Kingdom (Lisburn)
Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (2729)
On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29075) - you deserved it (2059)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)
Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43174) - you deserved it (2896)
On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21163) - you deserved it (26538)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40810) - you deserved it (3064)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32756) - you deserved it (2588)
On 05/22/2013 at 12:47pm - kids - by Kittykat900 (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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