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flavoroflust

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flavoroflust

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 June 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6191
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About flavoroflust : a guy who just loves to laugh

flavoroflust's page activity

Visits<b>katelyns</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 4:01am

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flavoroflust's favorite FMLs

Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML

#1713155
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13769) - you deserved it (79127)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

#1712833
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31796) - you deserved it (137540)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

#1701817
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19339) - you deserved it (64445)

On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

#1686217
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10317) - you deserved it (94740)

On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25747) - you deserved it (69831)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

#1628197
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (67158)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

#1625172
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48309) - you deserved it (11394)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123822) - you deserved it (6675)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

#1600117
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20947) - you deserved it (127643)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22981) - you deserved it (82094)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

#1592425
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69367) - you deserved it (18190)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Lootz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

#1512569
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50113) - you deserved it (12349)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went for lunch at a Chinese restaurant near my home that I have never eaten at before. It was so good I went back tonight for more, and the restaurant has been boarded up. It is closed due to food contamination. Inspections happened today. I ate contaminated food for lunch today. FML

#1471492
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47836) - you deserved it (3779)

On 04/29/2009 at 8:42pm - health - by tinfoilnirvana (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML

#1449885
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63110) - you deserved it (40870)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

#1449850
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48111) - you deserved it (10661)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - love - by fmylifebad (woman) - United States (Texas)



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