About flavoroflust : a guy who just loves to laugh
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Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17485) - you deserved it (50180)
On 05/22/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I asked my best friend why she didn't ask our other best friend Anna to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. She said, "She's too pretty. I need ugly bridesmaids to make me look better." I am the maid of honor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49967) - you deserved it (2867)
On 05/22/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Neverthebride - United States (Kentucky)
Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I screamed when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34479) - you deserved it (8737)
On 05/22/2009 at 11:16am - misc - by Ouch (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, while interviewing for a job I had to read over the physical requirements for the job. Later on she asked me how flexible I was. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her I was more flexible while I was playing sports but could work on it if I need to. She was talking about work hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9202) - you deserved it (32670)
On 05/22/2009 at 8:09am - work - by bigblue51 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52392) - you deserved it (3594)
On 05/22/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by fmlcops (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50776) - you deserved it (2643)
On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75278) - you deserved it (35503)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16812) - you deserved it (62579)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13288) - you deserved it (44878)
On 05/21/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by whoopsiedoodle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8156) - you deserved it (56283)
On 05/21/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by boyo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (51226)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22981) - you deserved it (75139)
On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7927) - you deserved it (53274)
On 05/19/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by June (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52451) - you deserved it (6446)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55465) - you deserved it (6136)
On 05/19/2009 at 6:13am - misc - by notnerb - New Zealand (Auckland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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