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About flaschgirl16 : I love to laugh, so all the funny FMLs are amazing to read!=)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50240) - you deserved it (19852)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48646) - you deserved it (11738)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by anonyme (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I helped my grandparents carry luggage to their hotel room, where they're staying the night tonight after my wedding reception. Their room is 203. Mine is 201. Their room shares a wall with my honeymoon suite. My grandparents are going to hear me consummate my marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42836) - you deserved it (4055)
On 06/20/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by groom (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29034) - you deserved it (6357)
On 06/20/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by WhyTheFNot (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, was my high school's senior awards ceremony. Over 400 people were crammed in the hot auditorium. I won five awards and each time I was called up the laughter grew louder. Apparently even the back row could see my pit stains. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33217) - you deserved it (3416)
On 06/20/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by asdf (woman) - United States
Today, I got on my flight for my brother's graduation in Portland, Maine. Unable to find my mom in the airport, a stranger overheard my dilemma and informed me I was in Portland, Oregon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21607) - you deserved it (16813)
On 06/16/2009 at 4:26am - misc - by Rayyy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42244) - you deserved it (3374)
On 06/16/2009 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62066) - you deserved it (3990)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10182) - you deserved it (46806)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:35am - love - by Aerostar (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29872) - you deserved it (2560)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I used a porta-potty. After I came out, my mom came out of one and said "I really wish I could wash my hands." I explained that I used the little soap bar that was on the side of the toilet in mine. She told me that was a urinal and the soap bar was a disinfectant bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11420) - you deserved it (41266)
On 06/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by hockeyfanaticx87 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12686) - you deserved it (36050)
On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at my friends birthday party, dancing bare foot because my feet hurt from the heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36645) - you deserved it (3767)
On 06/14/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by not-so-happy-feet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34864) - you deserved it (9288)
On 06/14/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by Rainman (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, as a prank, my friends put a big bucket of water on my door so that it would spill on me as I exited my room. It would have been funny if I hadn't been holding my $900 laptop as I was walking out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45397) - you deserved it (1722)
On 06/14/2009 at 3:14pm - work - by Dominic (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
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