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Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter since we have a class together. He wrote one day "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny until I realized the date/time was when we have class together and i sit in front of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you totally deserved it (2096)
On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39691) - you totally deserved it (2540)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:24am - love - by hannaholic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36262) - you totally deserved it (3782)
On 06/26/2009 at 5:51am - money - by xero_art (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49510) - you totally deserved it (1435)
On 06/25/2009 at 4:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24577) - you totally deserved it (9451)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:03pm - kids - by vballqt201 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42267) - you totally deserved it (16726)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23857) - you totally deserved it (8211)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12851) - you totally deserved it (30929)
On 06/20/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by DuckyKiller (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11264) - you totally deserved it (31002)
On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19715) - you totally deserved it (46820)
On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34342) - you totally deserved it (12434)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by kjmsit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33054) - you totally deserved it (7874)
On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States
Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why he said. "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47619) - you totally deserved it (1588)
On 06/14/2009 at 1:42am - kids - by andthatshowitgoes (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I hooked up with this guy i really like for the first time. After, we were laying in bed listening to music. When the song finished he leaned over and said, "You know what you and that song have in common?" I smiled and said, "What?" He replied with, "You just got played, get out of my bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (88312) - you totally deserved it (12046)
On 06/12/2009 at 8:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46714) - you totally deserved it (2678)
On 06/12/2009 at 4:04pm - love - by adderallgirl (woman) - United States (Texas)
