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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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fixer
  • Town/Country : Kharidia, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 June 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1514
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About fixer : drummer
black belt
fav tv show: family guy
fml ftw

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fixer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks (8345) - you deserved it (24745)

On 10/07/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by vbscb (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML

#5550225 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (51892) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

#4906491 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (10041) - you deserved it (35533)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (4275)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She has been there all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks (36473) - you deserved it (2541)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:16pm - work - by Azcrazy (man) - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzle-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

#3816010 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (35221) - you deserved it (6535)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

#3271801 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (46342) - you deserved it (5016)

On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (10039) - you deserved it (72682)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML

#2938815 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (37055) - you deserved it (23529)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns $10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (50075) - you deserved it (2040)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

#2713255 (316)

I agree, your life sucks (76556) - you deserved it (4468)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (88923) - you deserved it (3805)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663 (447)

I agree, your life sucks (19478) - you deserved it (39079)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

#2688793 (488)

I agree, your life sucks (24332) - you deserved it (224101)

On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (57818) - you deserved it (5877)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)



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