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fivepartsdead

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fivepartsdead

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Today, my fiancé an I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise fir him, sohen I was getting close, Ihisperd the Welsh fir ( Don't stop. ) He pulld out an accusd me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML

#20057019
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30083) - you deserved it (4083)

On 09/04/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by gingerbetty - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, mah grlfriend an I were having sex. Right as she orgasmd, she screamd out Megatron's name. When I later confrontd her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him an wantd to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic 4 a year an half now. FML

#20056354
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19026) - you deserved it (24449)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while having sex with grlfriend in the bathroom, we hered a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

#20053940
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23736) - you deserved it (12679)

On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was watching TV with grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on stomach as mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me 4 bieng a pervert 4 an hour,hile grandpa sat and chuckled. mega FML

#13180631
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36098) - you deserved it (4115)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways!! We were taking pictures of wat we thought to be a waxwork old lady!! Turns out she was real!! big fat FML

#13138405
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (8774)

On 09/21/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by yourmom - United States (Georgia)

Yesterday , at work , I managd to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf , which knockd a box off the top , which hit me in the head and knockd me out-cold. I now have a fat lip , a sore head , and bruises all over from the fall. FML

#1382386
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (8842)

On 04/27/2009 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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