I'm in my twenties and work as a chef in a restaurant. fmylife.com is one of the best sites on the internet. It really makes my day when i read a good one.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20344) - you totally deserved it (52863)
On 05/05/2009 at 3:43am - love - by sunboy52 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67580) - you totally deserved it (14097)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16688) - you totally deserved it (249791)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tasted the rainbow. By that, I mean a homeless man hit me in the face with a bag of Skittles for not giving him money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69287) - you totally deserved it (8883)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:43am - money - by rovery (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (220610) - you totally deserved it (244434)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60485) - you totally deserved it (14035)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you totally deserved it (875)
On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)
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