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firstworldissues

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firstworldissues
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  • Number of visits : 1923
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I drove 9 hours and took Monday off of work to surprise my Mom and Dad for Easter. They weren't home so I called to tell them the surprise, rather than wait. They didn't answer as they were on a flight to Denver to surprise me for Easter since "I couldn't get off work." FML

#945655 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (58715) - you deserved it (9385)

On 04/13/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by traveller (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (843)

I agree, your life sucks (228755) - you deserved it (19508)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was working out out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

#697920 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (15935) - you deserved it (53425)

On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States

Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML

#142506 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (78529) - you deserved it (2375)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by froyo (man) - United States

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

#142269 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (33858) - you deserved it (18965)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104 (987)

I agree, your life sucks (48728) - you deserved it (274197)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

#123831 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (41271) - you deserved it (4348)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to brush up on my flirting skills and ask a guy I thought was kind of cute what time it was. He pointed to the very visible watch on my wrist and said "You should know already". FML

#120192 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (4852) - you deserved it (39090)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Timeless (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

#116388 (38)

I agree, your life sucks (39013) - you deserved it (7323)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by holladaddy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

#111850 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (51978) - you deserved it (2158)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

#90754 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (12697) - you deserved it (84785)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class i did the same thing to him, he broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team, nobody laughed. FML

#81236 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (34331) - you deserved it (18158)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm - health - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

#70656 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (38009) - you deserved it (8653)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (9680)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

#64211 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (51693) - you deserved it (15755)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by skeletor (man) - United States (New York)