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firelord4563

Offline (the 02/21/2015 at 12:33am) | Search for a member

firelord4563

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 504
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About firelord4563 : Thanks for reading my profile :)

firelord4563's page activity

Visits<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 3:54pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:58pm

firelord4563's FML badges

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firelord4563's favorite FMLs

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38798) - you deserved it (7773)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32402) - you deserved it (4481)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML

#21288806
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36717) - you deserved it (3893)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33602) - you deserved it (5511)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41062) - you deserved it (4499)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

#21265100
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (10063)

On 09/25/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52048) - you deserved it (9406)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48085) - you deserved it (6818)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

#21137290
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50878) - you deserved it (4624)

On 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Gone With the Wind - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML

#21133303
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45515) - you deserved it (3033)

On 05/07/2014 at 3:16pm - kids - by Arthur - United States

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43018) - you deserved it (9798)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

#21057323
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46781) - you deserved it (6097)

On 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by not even getting any of her shrimp (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

#20977212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41693) - you deserved it (4066)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38490) - you deserved it (15144)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)



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