firelord4563

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Offline (the 02/21/2015 at 12:33am)

firelord4563

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 713
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About firelord4563 : Thanks for reading my profile :)

firelord4563's page activity

Visits<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 3:54pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:58pm

firelord4563's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

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firelord4563's favorite FMLs

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

by Extravirgin / 12/16/2014 at 7:01am / Germany (Bayern) / Intimacy

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

by 4evalone / 11/01/2014 at 1:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML

by anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

by anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 11:52am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

by Mia / 08/20/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

by Gone With the Wind / 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML

by Arthur / 05/07/2014 at 3:16pm / United States / Kids

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

by not even getting any of her shrimp / 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

by xxSecretAngelxx / 08/19/2013 at 2:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Health