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firedrake48066

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firedrake48066
  • Town/Country : Roseville, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 635
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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firedrake48066's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of firedrake48066's badges

firedrake48066's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

#3107443
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52862) - you deserved it (2007)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:11am - kids - by Al (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

#2980433
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (14749)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by fcnk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

#2933331
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46366) - you deserved it (4243)

On 06/16/2009 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

#2709098
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61691) - you deserved it (2569)

On 06/08/2009 at 12:08am - love - by .... (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

#2597926
655 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7503) - you deserved it (120345)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

#2565972
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44309) - you deserved it (14894)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because "he didn't believe in marriage." FML

#2501509
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67906) - you deserved it (3886)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

#2202679
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33968) - you deserved it (29982)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML

#2187594
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59082) - you deserved it (18924)

On 05/22/2009 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

#2109937
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67578) - you deserved it (6289)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

#1955875
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (40388)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by badboyfriends (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the tattoo signifying my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML

#1933691
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19689) - you deserved it (52103)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:57pm - love - by branded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML

#1694446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14598) - you deserved it (118830)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)



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