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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I found out my ex bought a digital camera, an iPod, and a large flat-screen TV, all purchased with the alimony I'm paying him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24482) - you deserved it (5674)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Goodie (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came back from my 3 month vacation from France. During my vacation I lost 32lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37497) - you deserved it (3239)
On 09/05/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by nikkiquila_0699 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got shoved into a wall and pickpocketed. I was already in a bad mood from being dumped, so I chased the guy, tackled him so hard he was knocked out. As I retrieved my things, the police arrested me and apparently the robber was the cop's son, and didn't believe my statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52197) - you deserved it (2206)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:14am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees, when some of his mates turned up at the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43787) - you deserved it (3557)
On 08/29/2009 at 3:56pm - love - by legallyblondemad (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52264) - you deserved it (3447)
On 08/28/2009 at 7:43am - intimacy - by Phoellie (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was using a cream to remove the hair from my legs. After I was done, I went on the computer, and a few minutes later I noticed that the same hand I had the cream on was leaning on the side of my head. Now I have a huge bald spot and a party to go to later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10344) - you deserved it (31945)
On 08/23/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Akasunanokai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was told I have bipolar disorder. I'm 31. It took so long to diagnose because my mom always figured I was "just a super bitch half the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35063) - you deserved it (3524)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by crazychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47122) - you deserved it (3626)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after having a few beers at a bar, I gave my ticket to the valet to get my car. I tipped the man $2 and he gave me a huge smile and thanked me a lot as I left. I thought the guy was just really appreciative for those $2 until I got home and saw one of the $100 bills in my wallet was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9383) - you deserved it (40395)
On 08/15/2009 at 9:56am - money - by whooops (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36043) - you deserved it (10919)
On 08/11/2009 at 8:17am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40764) - you deserved it (16100)
On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (46616)
On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51516) - you deserved it (7134)
On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that my cheating, stealing ex boyfriend is posting pictures of naked women having group sex, with my face photoshopped onto them. He sent those to my boss, my friends, my family, only because I refused to bail his drunken self out of jail a couple weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59101) - you deserved it (5170)
On 07/31/2009 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Spadiethestar (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)
Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me because "god told him to." What god didn't tell him was that I would check his e-mail and find all the e-mails to and from his new girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39205) - you deserved it (4210)
On 07/16/2009 at 9:44am - love - by hrtbrkn (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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