This member hasn't filled in the description.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33279) - you deserved it (2248)
On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35953) - you deserved it (2222)
On 01/10/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. Having a moment of insanity, I crumbled and threw the receipt at the cashier, while yelling "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2861) - you deserved it (44415)
On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7763) - you deserved it (36051)
On 12/30/2009 at 7:03pm - love - by BrutallyBlonde (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6299) - you deserved it (35110)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26877) - you deserved it (3065)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28833) - you deserved it (2897)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14741) - you deserved it (23689)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29118) - you deserved it (3638)
On 11/05/2009 at 2:41am - health - by FatRunner (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)
Today, I decided to adopt a 11 year old dog that has been in need of a home for several months. Two hours after I got him home, I discovered him dead in the backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30889) - you deserved it (2450)
On 10/30/2009 at 3:45am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of seven years dumped me because he said my cheeks getting way too fat for his taste and he didn't want to be with a chipmunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (5428)
On 10/29/2009 at 1:20am - love - by chipmunk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12624) - you deserved it (25842)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36691) - you deserved it (309)
On 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Non-active (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16455) - you deserved it (72545)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my brother thought he would take my key and steal my shoes from my football locker while I was at practice. What he didn't think about was him leaving my locker unlocked for the 3 hours of practice. Someone stole my iPod, my cell phone, my wallet, and all of my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35365) - you deserved it (1692)
On 09/12/2009 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
