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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21935) - you deserved it (1859)
On 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm - misc - by meowtickmeow - United States (Ohio)
Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20012) - you deserved it (2704)
On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)
Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14095) - you deserved it (10908)
On 03/04/2010 at 3:01pm - kids - by disguested (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14578) - you deserved it (2517)
On 03/02/2010 at 8:03pm - health - by sunny_ca559 - United States
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36356) - you deserved it (7454)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14323) - you deserved it (7101)
On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12512) - you deserved it (2383)
On 02/26/2010 at 5:21am - intimacy - by humiliated - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19995) - you deserved it (2168)
On 02/25/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14470) - you deserved it (5360)
On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10956) - you deserved it (3604)
On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)
Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28369) - you deserved it (3391)
On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version
Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with superglue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20792) - you deserved it (6441)
On 02/01/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4876) - you deserved it (17599)
On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41882) - you deserved it (12571)
On 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3386) - you deserved it (35448)
On 01/26/2010 at 9:39am - misc - by Fonz (man) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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