firedrake48066

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firedrake48066

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2487
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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firedrake48066's page activity

Visits<b>Helldemon</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 5:03pm<b>anonymousguy1569</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:56am<b>arak</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 3:46am<b>mini9094</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:12pm<b>MysteryManPerson</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 10:45pm<b>beautycrush495</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 12:15am<b>falafels</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 5:54pm<b>KatjaM</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 3:42pm<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 3:23pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 3:41am<b>alligator729</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 12:28pm<b>coleiab125</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 2:58pm<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 9:21pm<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 5:51pm<b>I_iz_B_a_troll</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 8:03pm<b>swifty94</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 8:28am<b>Celina_Lune</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 1:29pm<b>dan_in_wi</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 2:35pm

firedrake48066's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of firedrake48066's badges

firedrake48066's favorite FMLs

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

by hornyloser770 / 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm / Love

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

by humiliated / 02/26/2010 at 5:21am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2010 at 11:28am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm / United States (Montana) / Work

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

by evecamp / 02/10/2010 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

by justme / 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm / Kids

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with superglue. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2010 at 12:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML

by depr3ssed / 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

by Nick / 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

by Fonz / 01/26/2010 at 9:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

by cuppincake / 01/15/2010 at 2:51am / Australia (South Australia) / Love

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2010 at 11:19am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

by TacoFail / 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

by BrutallyBlonde / 12/30/2009 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Love