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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23920) - you deserved it (5502)
On 08/30/2010 at 4:10pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I dyed my hair bright red from its previous black. No one has noticed except my dog, who won't stop barking at me because she doesn't know who I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21428) - you deserved it (5394)
On 08/22/2010 at 1:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I called my boyfriend just to hear his voice since I haven't seen him in a while. His mom picked up and said "Chris isn't here right now, he's with his girlfriend. Do you want to leave him a message." We've been dating for 4 and a half months now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28501) - you deserved it (3047)
On 08/10/2010 at 12:30am - love - by llmd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34674) - you deserved it (5641)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6408) - you deserved it (55752)
On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out my mother had remarried, and that I was getting a stepfather and stepbrother. However I found out about it 30 minutes before we left to pick them up from the airport, and also found out that I'm losing my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32650) - you deserved it (1951)
On 07/15/2010 at 6:52am - misc - by photonut13 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after being at summer camp for two weeks, my parents never showed up to take me home. A counselor had to drive me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34657) - you deserved it (2357)
On 07/11/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Nancy - United States
Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6518) - you deserved it (39818)
On 06/30/2010 at 7:06pm - misc - by Crash (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I spent a long time steam-cleaning a mystery stain on my living room carpet. I turned the light on to get a better look at it, and realized that it was a shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7859) - you deserved it (37848)
On 06/19/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by kebaby (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I tried to cut layers in my beautiful long hair. I ended up giving myself a mullet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8511) - you deserved it (59335)
On 06/15/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by heyfuckyouthen (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32912) - you deserved it (2731)
On 06/05/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by someoneelsessaliva (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27690) - you deserved it (5663)
On 05/29/2010 at 12:14am - health - by fmlpanda (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I signed in my msn messenger. Everyone in my friends list apparently changed their status to 'busy' or 'away' when they saw me online, including my crush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22645) - you deserved it (6786)
On 05/02/2010 at 4:37am - misc - by everyonehatesme (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20528) - you deserved it (50209)
On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16610) - you deserved it (2281)
On 03/15/2010 at 12:44pm - misc - by bunnylover (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Monday 20 May 2013
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