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firedrake48066

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firedrake48066

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1197
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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firedrake48066's page activity

Visits<b>anonymousguy1569</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 6:33am<b>arak</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 3:46am<b>mini9094</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:12pm<b>MysteryManPerson</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 10:45pm<b>beautycrush495</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 12:15am<b>falafels</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 5:54pm<b>KatjaM</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 3:42pm<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 3:23pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 3:41am<b>alligator729</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 12:28pm<b>coleiab125</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 2:58pm<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 9:21pm<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 5:51pm<b>I_iz_B_a_troll</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 8:03pm<b>swifty94</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 8:28am<b>moksha</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 6:47am<b>Celina_Lune</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 1:29pm<b>dan_in_wi</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 2:35pm

firedrake48066's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of firedrake48066's badges

firedrake48066's favorite FMLs

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47383) - you deserved it (4883)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68677) - you deserved it (10896)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38686) - you deserved it (3448)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30069) - you deserved it (9708) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37031) - you deserved it (5760)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, it is my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML

#20578709
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51301) - you deserved it (2538)

On 04/07/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by child of a crazed women (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39796) - you deserved it (19450)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43898) - you deserved it (4402)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

#20575858
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29805) - you deserved it (4541)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41262) - you deserved it (3737)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34132) - you deserved it (6007)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52106) - you deserved it (17698)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

#20574572
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46260) - you deserved it (3847)

On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

#20574528
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40139) - you deserved it (4422)

On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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