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Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36524) - you totally deserved it (1062)
On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)
Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24674) - you totally deserved it (2192)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24476) - you totally deserved it (1979)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from a mobile version
Today while cleaning up I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30464) - you totally deserved it (1896) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35172) - you totally deserved it (2093)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. It ran me off the road, I took out a fence and totaled my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded.."my tom-tom told me to turn left." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34494) - you totally deserved it (932)
On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonalds. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32309) - you totally deserved it (1710)
On 09/06/2009 at 7:12pm - money - by effmylife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said "I think your tits are smaller." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34588) - you totally deserved it (2654)
On 09/03/2009 at 1:38pm - love - by LosTits (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25504) - you totally deserved it (7726)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by itzcorinnelove (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you totally deserved it (14375)
On 08/17/2009 at 7:40pm - misc - by BearGrillz - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39062) - you totally deserved it (2582)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45145) - you totally deserved it (1711)
On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41870) - you totally deserved it (5262)
On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you totally deserved it (6822)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you totally deserved it (8371)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
