Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About finished : I'm a british girl living in the south of France, I like being smart assed and sarcastic but I can be serious when I want to (rarely :D) I rarely check my messages as I go on the site with my Ipod but feel free to message me as i'll reply sooner or later. And yes i do spontaneously break out ninja moves whenever I get the chance to!!
Oh and i'm not a grammar nazi but if there's a grammar fight i'll be sure to join in!
I also love music and play lots of different instruments. I'm a video game fanatic and I love vampires+ supernatural creatures!!
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015