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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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fieldofbutter

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fieldofbutter
  • Town/Country : Lakeland, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 August 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2658
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About fieldofbutter : :D

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fieldofbutter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

#4151935 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (5392) - you deserved it (54918)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by FGum (man) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

#4151663 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (9925) - you deserved it (33726)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by solomantis (man) - Norway (Oslo) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML

#3827229 (386)

I agree, your life sucks (45209) - you deserved it (6578)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

#2328337 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (5078) - you deserved it (56335)

On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

#2323618 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (42132) - you deserved it (1954)

On 05/26/2009 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on my way out of the subway station, I noticed an older woman standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs with a large cart. I went up to her and asked if she needed help getting it up the stairs. She looks me up and down and says, "No, not from you." FML

#2317005 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (36309) - you deserved it (2755)

On 05/26/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by yaa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

#2308873 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (52069) - you deserved it (2369)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, was my music recital. I was playing and sneezed really loud into my saxophone which made the mouthpiece blurt out of my mouth. I have a neck strap and as the saxophone came back towards me the mouthpiece hit me in the head. I knocked myself out in front of the audience. FML

#2303498 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (42266) - you deserved it (3479)

On 05/26/2009 at 5:52am - misc - by hahacopster (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

#2302795 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (55473) - you deserved it (5489)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I weighed myself for the first time in a while and confirmed that I have put on a few pounds. I was feeling a bit down about it. I went to work and on arriving a workmate I hadn't seen in a while gave me a hug. She said, 'I love hugging you, you're so nice and squishy.' FML

#2302779 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (36568) - you deserved it (5320)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:23am - health - by squishyboy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

#2131299 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (21080) - you deserved it (48324)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

#1770571 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (15687) - you deserved it (33444)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML

#1751488 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (60652) - you deserved it (16265)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into my driving instructors car for my first lesson. He looked at me, then said, "I'm sorry, but I wasn't told about your disabilities, what do you have?" I'm not disabled. FML

#1694606 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (48698) - you deserved it (2160)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by wow. (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML

#1692972 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (46994) - you deserved it (7792)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by jojo (woman) - United States (California)