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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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fgjh

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fgjh
  • Town/Country : Auckland, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 May 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 385
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (50326) - you deserved it (2346)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710 (1201)

I agree, your life sucks (55725) - you deserved it (135985)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I flew from Chicago to San Francisco to get some of my stuff out of a storage unit. I left the keys for the padlock at home. FML

#2530639 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (15933) - you deserved it (36012)

On 06/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by Tom (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

#2524291 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (7421) - you deserved it (41681)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:39am - animals - by xacked (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

#2514787 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (22279) - you deserved it (46267)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729 (720)

I agree, your life sucks (164000) - you deserved it (74967)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (268176) - you deserved it (32426)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

#1659307 (377)

I agree, your life sucks (149213) - you deserved it (30011)

On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - animals - by Rhyno - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631 (523)

I agree, your life sucks (249046) - you deserved it (34291)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)