About fenrirs_mate : I'm crazy. I'm opinionated. I believe in speaking your mind without being cruel. If you don't like it. I really don't care.
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fenrirs_mate's favorite FMLs
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals
by msmidnight1965 / 09/22/2013 at 1:22pm / Canada / Kids
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML
by JuggaloSlasher15 / 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm / Egypt / Intimacy
by wekasdjkasldasdkasdzcawqe / 08/07/2013 at 4:55pm / Sweden / Animals
by TheSacredTeddyBear / 07/30/2013 at 11:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML
by brokeandalone / 07/30/2013 at 1:09am / United States / Money
by confusedmofo / 07/29/2013 at 2:35am / Indonesia / Love
Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by dareyale / 07/26/2013 at 2:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…