felipe87

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Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 2:50am)

felipe87

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 March 1982 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1778
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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felipe87's page activity

Visits<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:14am<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 7:23pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 6:59pm<b>nikkibodnarchuk</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 2:42pm<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 6:07pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:53pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 3:37am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 11:24pm<b>gradius1002</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 3:48pm<b>Connerm</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 1:23pm<b>kaed</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:52pm<b>pete9913</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:00am<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 8:13pm<b>hooAhhh</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:41am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 4:31am<b>fuzzypanda321</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:19am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:00am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:15pm

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felipe87's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2011 at 7:50am / United States / Work

Today, I got into a wreck thanks to a big flashing sign on the highway that said "Keep your eyes on the road" that distracted me. FML

by cupcakelady127 / 03/23/2011 at 7:25am / United States / Transportation

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

by Tom / 03/10/2011 at 6:09am / Animals

Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML

by sickly / 02/18/2011 at 8:06am / Work

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

by hotmommy / 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm / Intimacy

Today, as I spent my last $6 on groceries, the woman at the register gave me a dirty look because I declined to donate $1 to a children's charity. My six year old son immediately chimed in with, "Mommy, why aren't you helping the poor children?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2010 at 12:49am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

by Jess / 05/30/2009 at 8:48am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

by alexis89 / 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

by nana / 05/19/2009 at 10:04am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids