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felipe87

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felipe87
  • Town/Country : Corpus Christi, Usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 March 1982 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 1241
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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felipe87's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42533) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

#15445630
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (4398)

On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got into a wreck thanks to a big flashing sign on the highway that said "Keep your eyes on the road" that distracted me. FML

#15445507
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (14636)

On 03/23/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by cupcakelady127 (woman) - United States

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
695 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67715) - you deserved it (14661)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

#15260051
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34306) - you deserved it (3057)

On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -

Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML

#15025975
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31840) - you deserved it (3010)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:06am - work - by sickly -

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38001) - you deserved it (7384)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66223) - you deserved it (3484)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35311) - you deserved it (5720)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, as I spent my last $6 on groceries, the woman at the register gave me a dirty look because I declined to donate $1 to a children's charity. My six year old son immediately chimed in with, "Mommy, why aren't you helping the poor children?" FML

#14220107
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33930) - you deserved it (4722)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:49am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

#13424544
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12707) - you deserved it (30659)

On 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65703) - you deserved it (7415)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

#2427571
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7979) - you deserved it (61507)

On 05/30/2009 at 8:48am - kids - by Jess (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

#2308066
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67590) - you deserved it (17466)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56034) - you deserved it (7943)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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