About felidsentry : I'm a dude. Yay.
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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felidsentry's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:03am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML
by crippled shopper / 01/27/2013 at 12:23am / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
by movingout / 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional… Today, it's my birthday. I was excited because of all the wall posts I got on Facebook. Then I saw… Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has…