About felidsentry : I'm a dude. Yay.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8763) - you deserved it (16678)
On 01/30/2013 at 11:02pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got into an argument with my wife. We had gotten our son an Xbox and two games for his birthday. Since he was ungratefully bitching about it, I made him return it and donate the money to charity. He told her that I hit him, took his present and pawned it for beer. She doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33997) - you deserved it (2997)
On 01/30/2013 at 6:23pm - kids - by XboxDad (man) - United States (California)
Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17608) - you deserved it (1294)
On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41297) - you deserved it (3134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version
Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (1571)
On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States
Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (2015)
On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)
Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22200) - you deserved it (1206)
Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28673) - you deserved it (2883)
On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9348) - you deserved it (38811)
On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22698) - you deserved it (1487)
On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25494) - you deserved it (3121)
On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20630) - you deserved it (1681)
On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (2622)
On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (6398)
On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States
Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22682) - you deserved it (1666)
On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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