feedmankeynow

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Offline (the 08/10/2014 at 8:30am)

feedmankeynow

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 September 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3736
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About feedmankeynow : .

feedmankeynow's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:58am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 10:35am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:46am<b>Kanter</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:16am<b>gracehi</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 1:28pm<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 7:25am<b>ayoanya</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:47pm<b>haleyc44</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 11:07pm<b>adultchild</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 2:26pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:30pm<b>suri_mf</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 11:57am<b>mario2012</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 6:35am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 4:25pm<b>danielcontreras</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 2:17pm<b>kspear2</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 7:49am<b>utterness303</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:38pm<b>iammeorami</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:32pm<b>IsjnI</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 9:03am

feedmankeynow's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of feedmankeynow's badges

feedmankeynow's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm / United States / Health

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

by future burger flipper / 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 8:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 11:20am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

by BestBF / 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

by anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 7:25am / United States / Miscellaneous