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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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featherhead

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featherhead
  • Town/Country : The Netherlands.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 69460
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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featherhead's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandpa died. I decided to call my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit: "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

#2901718 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (37599) - you deserved it (17069)

On 06/15/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

#2896238 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (40088) - you deserved it (2280)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why he said. "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied". FML

#2876647 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (65816) - you deserved it (2678)

On 06/14/2009 at 1:42am - kids - by andthatshowitgoes (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

#2874076 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (31047) - you deserved it (44090)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

#2873732 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (32156) - you deserved it (2617)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by number2 - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML

#2867834 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (6859)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by anonymous1 - United States (California)

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

#2865123 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (36496) - you deserved it (1455)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Meg (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395 (406)

I agree, your life sucks (64134) - you deserved it (2230)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I was rehearsing a kissing scene for a play, I realized that before this play, the last guy I had kissed was the same one I was kissing now. It was also for a play. Four and a half years ago. FML

#2848917 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (38178) - you deserved it (3646)

On 06/13/2009 at 1:16am - love - by iamrose (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was cleaning out my fiance's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

#2839886 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (50991) - you deserved it (2714)

On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him as well as my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worth $0. I said yes. He cut the wrong card. FML

#2839011 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (44284) - you deserved it (2796)

On 06/12/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by bryans_fresh (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused caling me Jill & her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (98220) - you deserved it (5700)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311 (408)

I agree, your life sucks (49153) - you deserved it (7835)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML

#2827492 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (55773) - you deserved it (2479)

On 06/12/2009 at 11:05am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first random girl he saw. FML

#2822887 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (70557) - you deserved it (6898)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)